“Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.” ~Joyce Brothers
It’s hard to let go of what other people think of us, especially those we love and want to love us. It is so easy to get caught up in being and doing what we think others expect of us and then we find ourselves miserable and not understanding why things don’t go well. I’ve spent much of my life doing exactly this: being and doing what others expect. When I looked at photos of myself, I always hated them and didn’t want to have my picture taken–ever! And things haven’t always gone well because without my realizing it once-in-a-while I was myself and that really messed up my efforts to be other than myself.
“What people in the world think of you is really none of your business.”
― Martha Graham
When I first heard the Martha Graham quote, I was so relieved. If it is none of my business what others think of me, then there is a corollary to that thought. It is none of other people’s business who and what I am including what I say and how I say it, what clothes I wear, what activities I do or even what I write. But what if they don’t like me?
The answer to that question is: Not everyone is going to like me and I don’t like everyone else. If I am true to myself and like myself more, perhaps I have a chance at being happier and living a more fulfilled life.
“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
― Mark Twain
Being comfortable with myself has made all the difference in the world to me. I like myself a lot these days and enjoy spending time alone as much as I enjoy time with others. I’ve discovered a new best friend–me. Amazingly, since I have been being just me, not only have I been happier, those who love me are happier and I find them more fun to be around. Now when I look at photos of me, I say: There I am and I look pretty damn good! Anytime you want to have your photo taken with me, I am ready.
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”
― Marilyn Monroe
So I say, “Twirl your mustache (or your hair if you don’t have a mustache) and don’t give a flying flip about what others think about you!” It could be they admire your courage to be you and not worry about what they or anyone else thinks.