When I Am Not At Peace

If we are peaceful,If we are happy,We can smile

Many people talk about peace as if it is something we can always be. AND maybe there are souls out there, among our friends and family, who are always at peace. That has never been he case for me. I work really hard at feeling peaceful and at being peaceful. Sometimes it works and sometimes it is just tamping down of emotions. But, I continue to work at it and work hard at it because those times that I really am at peace are so perfect they keep beckoning me to be more at peace within myself.

“Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness.
Forgiveness is letting go of the past,
and is therefore the means for
correcting our misperceptions.”
― Gerald G. JampolskyLove Is Letting Go of Fear

However, when I use my tried and true method of tamping down my emotions so that I behave as if at peace, I almost always make my life harder. Unfortunately when I make my life harder that is what shows up to everyone around me. Not the peaceful and loving and kind person I wish to be! The forgiveness always, always, always has to start with me forgiving myself. Not an easy task since I need much forgiveness every day.

“There is no such thing as inner peace.
There is only nervousness and death.”
― Fran Lebowitz

That’s when folks like Fran Lebowitz come to mind and I want to throw up my hands in frustration! You’ve been there, I know. How do I know? Because you are a human being just like me. You struggle with your life just as I do. Sure I can go through periods of time–days or even occasionally weeks–when I am spot on with my peace, love and kindness endeavors and then out of the blue LIFE HAPPENS!

“I suffer because my interactions with others
do not meet the expectations I did not know I had.”
― James Patrick McDonald

Then cue the struggle, the pain, the heartache. And peace evaporates like the fog on a hot summer’s morning. Within a few minutes of time life can go from happy and content and peaceful to unhappy, discontented and certainly not peaceful. So what do I do to gain back some of the peace I had?

“Peace of mind comes from not wanting to change others.”
― Gerald G. JampolskyLove Is Letting Go of Fear

I let go. It isn’t easy because I often have a death grip on the issues or at the very least sticky fingers. Letting go is a painful thing. It is rather like giving birth. For months while carrying a child within me I was uncomfortable occasionally but mostly eager to have that baby in my arms. Then the day came, relentlessly, when labor began and the birthing process got underway, and the pain came–persistent, not-to-be-denied pain–and the letting go of that eager anticipation into the reality of birth happened. That’s what it feels like to me. Overtime I have to let go emotionally of some burden, or desire, or way of being or even just some thing.

“The quickest way to experiencing the peace inside,
is to learn to recognize when I am not at peace.”
― James Patrick McDonald

So, having recognized when I am not at peace and being willing to make the monumental effort of letting go, I can come back to my true inner self and back to my true peace, true love and true kindness.


Sometimes it takes time too.

Be at peace, let go, birth yourself
Over and over again.

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